Always Pick the Fertility Doctor Named After Your Cat*

* Unless you named your cat Kevorkian.

Wrong Choice

Right Choice

When it came time to pick a fertility clinic and a doctor, Brian and I had a tough time getting recommendations from our family doctor and Brian's endocrinologist. We had a recommendation from one friend, but that was pretty much it.

One thing that was very important to us was that the doctor was easy to talk to and that the clinic seemed rooted in medicine, not emotions.

I am immediately turned off by clinics that try to appeal to women's emotions with becoming pregnant. For example, there is a local clinic that actually airs radio commercials that start off with a baby crying and say stuff like

To most women, that's just the sound of a baby crying. But to YOU that's the only sound you want to hear. The sound of your baby crying. All you can think of...all you've ever dreamed about...is holding your beautiful baby.

Give. Me. A. Freaking. Break. 

1. That's not how I roll.
2. I very much want to be a mother, but it does not define me. I have plenty of my own goals independent of having children.
3. Are there actually women who think like this?

So, I told Brian that I would not have a doctor or a clinic that preys on emotions like that. The whole process is already emotional and stressful enough; the last thing we need is some doctor trying to complicate the situation to make more money.

We are very fortunate to live in an area that has several clinics and two major medical university hospitals. We looked through reviews of the two hospitals and found that one had better reviews and success rates than the other. As we continued to look, we found a new clinic had recently opened up that had two double-board-certified doctors from the university hospital that we really liked. As we read through their profiles, we really liked them both and one of them had the same last name as our cat, Copland. She also is an accomplished cellist, which appeals to Brian's classical music roots. Certainly divine intervention!

Brian called and spoke to the patient care coordinator who was incredibly friendly and welcoming and set up an initial consultation. (We also verified that the office was in-network for our insurance!)

Dr. Copland was very easy for us to talk to, answered questions directly, and based all her answers in medicine. She also made it very clear that every decision is elective and OUR decision. 

So, to reiterate:

Copland-kitty approves of Copland-doctor

***

Brian and I also really want to thank everyone for the incredible outpouring of support we got for making our journey public. We really can't thank you all enough.

I knew we had made the right decision on Saturday night. It was an emotional day and I was feeling pretty overwhelmed and exhausted by everything that's happening this week. A friend sent me a hilarious video to have on hand to watch whenever I'm feeling stressed out/annoyed. There's no way she could have known that I was having a rough day, but she completely made it way better! :-)

So, why put this stuff on a blog, anyway?

Yes, it's probably improper (in the Emily Post fashion) to write about things as personal as trying to have a baby.  That needs to change.

Infertility has been going on for a long time, way longer than Laura and I have even known each other. And it's one of those things that I think everyone knows someone who has dealt with, but it has to be left unspoken.

Oh, you can't (easily) have kids?  That's a real shame.  Let us never speak of this again.  Boy, that football game last night was crazy!

I'm a firm believer in everyone having their "thing."  I'm not going to go so far as to say that God gave us infertility problems to make other people aware of the issue, but I do think that two things are true: one, that we have a responsibility to de-stigmatize (at least as best we can) infertility, and two, to spread the word that the best way to deal with it, as we've learned, is to be completely open about it.

No, I don't think that we're going to have millions of people lined up to run a 5K for infertility awareness or drive around town with half-blue/half-pink ribbons stuck on the back of our cars.  Hey, if someone wants to start the Susan G. Komen Foundation For The Cure Of Infertility, sign me up - but that's not where the change is going to come from.

It's going to come from stuff like this blog, from knowing people who go through it and who want others to know what's happening.  Not for sympathy, or for selfish reasons, but simply to get the word out that this does happen, and it's high time that we get out of this 1950s mindset that there's something wrong with you when you don't fit the mold.

Well, yes, there is something wrong (thank you for noticing), but that's not the point.

So, yeah, this blog will probably have too much stuff in it than you feel comfortable knowing, but I'd rather put too much information out there than not enough.  Not enough information leads to suffering in silence.  Too much leads to support and understanding from others.

Give me the latter any day.

And so it *really* begins [for L]

Next week is a milestone week in fertility treatment around these parts. It will be the second and third diagnostic procedures that I have.

Although B has had many tests and doctor's appointments, I haven't had too many yet. (Though, it is funny that now we're seeing a reproductive medicine specialist that I'm considered the primary patient. I guess it's that whole bearing a child part.)

Last week I had some blood drawn that will be tested to determine my progesterone and prolactin levels, both of which are very important hormones in the fertility process.

On Wednesday morning, we have an appointment with our doctor who will do an ultrasound to check everything out and make sure my uterine anatomy is OK. Afterward, we'll meet with her to review the blood work and set up a treatment schedule/review options.

On Friday afternoon, I have an appointment at a radiology clinic for an HSG test, which is a diagnostic procedure on the fallopian tubes. I've read online and heard from several other people that sometimes this test is very uncomfortable/borderline painful. BUT, everyone is different, and I've been told by doctors that I have a high pain threshold, so I'm hopeful it won't be a big deal for me. Regardless, B is going with me so that I don't have to drive home.

Because various tests have to be done at various stages of my cycle, the HSG test has to be done after the meeting with the doctor. The doctor mentioned at our preliminary meeting that we would begin creating a treatment plan at the ultrasound appointment, so I'm curious how the HSG test and its results will fit into everything.

If we could start a treatment cycle in October, we'd be ecstatic. It seems like we're always on some version of a two-week wait!

Prayers and kind thoughts are always appreciated.

***

I should also mention that B's test results from his last analysis were very good. They're not normal, but much closer than the first test and our doctor said that they were definitely good enough to make IUI an option.