One of the most helpful things to us is the amazing support we receive from our friends and family. From our church family praying, our parents offering support that goes well beyond anything we could ask, and our friends, we are truly blessed.
I've really noticed this as one of our closest friends recently told us that they are having a baby. We are (really, truly!) so excited for them! The thing that's meant the most to us is that this couple has gone well out of their way to be so respectful of our emotions and feelings. They announced the news to us privately in a way that gave us privacy to work through our emotions and even went so far as to tell us beforehand when they were going to announce their news to the world via social media. Being prepared for that announcement was so helpful.
They have gone well out of their way to be sensitive and that means so much. We know that it is a sacrifice for them to think of us during their time of incredible excitement. But, because they did, it makes us even more excited for them.
I can't wait for our future children to have them (and their future children!) in their lives because they have set such a wonderful example of friendship, kindness, and compassion.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Wednesday, July 18, 2012
Frustration
I'd be lying if I didn't acknowledge that some days are tougher than others. There's not always a rhyme or a reason why, but sometimes it's just hard. Occasionally, someone mentions something about their baby or you see something online and it sets off a floodgate of emotions.
Yesterday was one of those days. It was one of those days from the second my feet hit the ground when I got out of bed and it was one of those days when I cried most of the way to work. It sucked. I had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach all day. B knew it was one of those days too. He sent me a really sweet e-mail and did his best to make me feel better. It's amazing to have that support.
I was proud of myself though. After my morning meltdown, most of the day at work went pretty normally and I was able to get everything done that I wanted to do after work (vote, mow, cook dinner, and go for a short run). I was really proud of myself of fitting in the run at 9 p.m. It made me feel a lot better.
You just do what you can to get through and know that tomorrow will be a new day.
Today was much better! Thank goodness. :-)
B's doctor didn't have any good recommendations for a reproductive endocrinologist at his appointment Monday, so B is going to ask his actual endocrinologist for a recommendation at his appointment next week. If that doctor doesn't have a recommendation, then we'll just pick one and go from there. We're lucky to live in an area with lots of choices.
Yesterday was one of those days. It was one of those days from the second my feet hit the ground when I got out of bed and it was one of those days when I cried most of the way to work. It sucked. I had a horrible feeling in the pit of my stomach all day. B knew it was one of those days too. He sent me a really sweet e-mail and did his best to make me feel better. It's amazing to have that support.
I was proud of myself though. After my morning meltdown, most of the day at work went pretty normally and I was able to get everything done that I wanted to do after work (vote, mow, cook dinner, and go for a short run). I was really proud of myself of fitting in the run at 9 p.m. It made me feel a lot better.
You just do what you can to get through and know that tomorrow will be a new day.
Today was much better! Thank goodness. :-)
B's doctor didn't have any good recommendations for a reproductive endocrinologist at his appointment Monday, so B is going to ask his actual endocrinologist for a recommendation at his appointment next week. If that doctor doesn't have a recommendation, then we'll just pick one and go from there. We're lucky to live in an area with lots of choices.
Sunday, July 15, 2012
Happy With Two
At our meeting with our pastor last Thursday, he really stressed that we focus on medical stuff when it's appropriate, but then when it's not necessary to think about infertility that we focus on being as happy as possible as a couple and really focus on loving each other. Of course, this is easier said than done when the worrying starts, but it's definitely something that we have been striving really hard to do.
On Friday after work, we took our bikes up to one of the local lakes and rode about 13 miles on the greenways there. The rest of this weekend we really focused on eliminating clutter and getting rid of some things we no longer need (an old TV, two DVD players, and 16+ bags of books). I was glad to see it all go. :-) Also, when we do have a child, we'll have to do some rearranging for a nursery and I'd like to have as little clutter to remove as possible. I think we're well on our way! Next weekend I'm planning to tackle a few of the kitchen cabinets that are unruly.
We're also each focusing on other things that we enjoy doing. B is getting back into bike riding (hence Friday's ride). He loves riding his bike, but really hates hills and heat, so it's always good when we can go to a trail that's mostly flat and very shady. I'm also starting to train for a half marathon that I'm going to run in November. I've run for several years, but I always end up in a bit of a funk after a major race (I completed the Shamrock Marathon in March). I'm ready to get started again and I'm really looking forward to having a dedicated training schedule. The time I spend running is always really good for me mentally. I always come home in a better place than when I started. I also do yoga 1-2 times each week, which is so important to me because it allows me to have some time when I'm not focusing on anything but my body and my breathing.
Our pastor told us that he doesn't believe it's God's plan that we do not have children, but that he doesn't necessarily know if it's God's plan that we do have children. :-) So, he stressed, it's really important that we live our lives right now to the fullest. He mentioned that he knows how much love we have in our relationship and he really encouraged us to focus on that because that is where all of the good things in our family will come from.
I also started reading the book Hannah's Hope: Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage, and Adoption Loss by Jennifer Saake, which was recommended to me by a friend who also dealt with infertility. It's really good so far and I think it will be really helpful. It parallels stories from Hannah in the Old Testament, who was barren, with the author's own personal stories (she struggled with infertility, had several miscarriages, and several failed adoptions). It provides ideas and suggestions to make the journey a bit more bearable.
On Friday after work, we took our bikes up to one of the local lakes and rode about 13 miles on the greenways there. The rest of this weekend we really focused on eliminating clutter and getting rid of some things we no longer need (an old TV, two DVD players, and 16+ bags of books). I was glad to see it all go. :-) Also, when we do have a child, we'll have to do some rearranging for a nursery and I'd like to have as little clutter to remove as possible. I think we're well on our way! Next weekend I'm planning to tackle a few of the kitchen cabinets that are unruly.
We're also each focusing on other things that we enjoy doing. B is getting back into bike riding (hence Friday's ride). He loves riding his bike, but really hates hills and heat, so it's always good when we can go to a trail that's mostly flat and very shady. I'm also starting to train for a half marathon that I'm going to run in November. I've run for several years, but I always end up in a bit of a funk after a major race (I completed the Shamrock Marathon in March). I'm ready to get started again and I'm really looking forward to having a dedicated training schedule. The time I spend running is always really good for me mentally. I always come home in a better place than when I started. I also do yoga 1-2 times each week, which is so important to me because it allows me to have some time when I'm not focusing on anything but my body and my breathing.
Our pastor told us that he doesn't believe it's God's plan that we do not have children, but that he doesn't necessarily know if it's God's plan that we do have children. :-) So, he stressed, it's really important that we live our lives right now to the fullest. He mentioned that he knows how much love we have in our relationship and he really encouraged us to focus on that because that is where all of the good things in our family will come from.
I also started reading the book Hannah's Hope: Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage, and Adoption Loss by Jennifer Saake, which was recommended to me by a friend who also dealt with infertility. It's really good so far and I think it will be really helpful. It parallels stories from Hannah in the Old Testament, who was barren, with the author's own personal stories (she struggled with infertility, had several miscarriages, and several failed adoptions). It provides ideas and suggestions to make the journey a bit more bearable.
Saturday, July 14, 2012
Our Story
My husband and I are in our late twenties/early thirties. We have a very lovely house in a wonderful neighborhood in suburbia where we live with our sweet dog, Gatsby, and two cats, Copland and Mozart. At this point, these three "babies" are pretty much our world. It absolutely makes our day to come home from work and have them waiting for us with so much enthusiasm.
We've been married for a little over six years and decided in early 2011 that we really wanted to focus on having a family. We tried with no success for a year and then while my husband was at the doctor for a checkup in February 2012, we learned that he had low testosterone and a very low sperm count (it's important to note, though, that the sperm count isn't zero).
We were pretty crushed and spent several months waiting while my husband took medicine to improve his testosterone levels. There isn't medicine you can take to increase sperm count, but my husband's endocrinologist was hopeful that by increasing the testosterone, it would kickstart sperm production naturally. In April, he returned to the doctor and his testosterone had increased, but they did not do another semen analysis.
Later this week, he'll be returning to our general care provider and his endocrinologist to get more tests done and we're planning to ask our general care provider for a referral out to a fertility specialist.
So, at this point, we're still in a bit of a holding pattern, but both of us are confident that is about to change. We're excited to move forward and see what technology can do for us!
We are also incredibly blessed with an amazing support system. Both sets of parents are amazing and are supportive of what we're going though and the ups and downs. Our siblings are always there to lighten the mood and we have a wonderful group of friends—many of whom live in our neighborhood.
We also attend a Lutheran Church (ELCA) and have an amazing pastor and Bible Study that helps us see how God works through our trials. We have semi-regular meetings with our pastor and our faith helps guide our decisions. We expect that our faith will be especially important as we traverse the murky waters of reproductive technologies and their ethical implications.
So, we have no idea how this will turn out and I think we're slightly nervous to make our journey public, but we both feel strongly that infertility is wrongly stigmatized. (And we're tired of being asked why we don't have kids!)
We've been married for a little over six years and decided in early 2011 that we really wanted to focus on having a family. We tried with no success for a year and then while my husband was at the doctor for a checkup in February 2012, we learned that he had low testosterone and a very low sperm count (it's important to note, though, that the sperm count isn't zero).
We were pretty crushed and spent several months waiting while my husband took medicine to improve his testosterone levels. There isn't medicine you can take to increase sperm count, but my husband's endocrinologist was hopeful that by increasing the testosterone, it would kickstart sperm production naturally. In April, he returned to the doctor and his testosterone had increased, but they did not do another semen analysis.
Later this week, he'll be returning to our general care provider and his endocrinologist to get more tests done and we're planning to ask our general care provider for a referral out to a fertility specialist.
So, at this point, we're still in a bit of a holding pattern, but both of us are confident that is about to change. We're excited to move forward and see what technology can do for us!
We are also incredibly blessed with an amazing support system. Both sets of parents are amazing and are supportive of what we're going though and the ups and downs. Our siblings are always there to lighten the mood and we have a wonderful group of friends—many of whom live in our neighborhood.
We also attend a Lutheran Church (ELCA) and have an amazing pastor and Bible Study that helps us see how God works through our trials. We have semi-regular meetings with our pastor and our faith helps guide our decisions. We expect that our faith will be especially important as we traverse the murky waters of reproductive technologies and their ethical implications.
So, we have no idea how this will turn out and I think we're slightly nervous to make our journey public, but we both feel strongly that infertility is wrongly stigmatized. (And we're tired of being asked why we don't have kids!)
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