At our meeting with our pastor last Thursday, he really stressed that we focus on medical stuff when it's appropriate, but then when it's not necessary to think about infertility that we focus on being as happy as possible as a couple and really focus on loving each other. Of course, this is easier said than done when the worrying starts, but it's definitely something that we have been striving really hard to do.
On Friday after work, we took our bikes up to one of the local lakes and rode about 13 miles on the greenways there. The rest of this weekend we really focused on eliminating clutter and getting rid of some things we no longer need (an old TV, two DVD players, and 16+ bags of books). I was glad to see it all go. :-) Also, when we do have a child, we'll have to do some rearranging for a nursery and I'd like to have as little clutter to remove as possible. I think we're well on our way! Next weekend I'm planning to tackle a few of the kitchen cabinets that are unruly.
We're also each focusing on other things that we enjoy doing. B is getting back into bike riding (hence Friday's ride). He loves riding his bike, but really hates hills and heat, so it's always good when we can go to a trail that's mostly flat and very shady. I'm also starting to train for a half marathon that I'm going to run in November. I've run for several years, but I always end up in a bit of a funk after a major race (I completed the Shamrock Marathon in March). I'm ready to get started again and I'm really looking forward to having a dedicated training schedule. The time I spend running is always really good for me mentally. I always come home in a better place than when I started. I also do yoga 1-2 times each week, which is so important to me because it allows me to have some time when I'm not focusing on anything but my body and my breathing.
Our pastor told us that he doesn't believe it's God's plan that we do not have children, but that he doesn't necessarily know if it's God's plan that we do have children. :-) So, he stressed, it's really important that we live our lives right now to the fullest. He mentioned that he knows how much love we have in our relationship and he really encouraged us to focus on that because that is where all of the good things in our family will come from.
I also started reading the book Hannah's Hope: Seeking God's Heart in the Midst of Infertility, Miscarriage, and Adoption Loss by Jennifer Saake, which was recommended to me by a friend who also dealt with infertility. It's really good so far and I think it will be really helpful. It parallels stories from Hannah in the Old Testament, who was barren, with the author's own personal stories (she struggled with infertility, had several miscarriages, and several failed adoptions). It provides ideas and suggestions to make the journey a bit more bearable.
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